Consistency ≠ Constancy

Do you struggle to stay consistent with something? How do YOU define “consistency?”

When I’m trying to reach a goal—be it business, health, a project—I can have a one-track mind. It’s all or none. I start throwing spaghetti at the wall. How much can I throw? How much will stick?

I see goals as not a marathon, but a sprint. No, actually, I undertake them more like a triathlon or decathlon. How many goals can I pursue at the same time and how fast can I accomplish them?

Inevitably, there are hurdles. Personal appointments keep coming, little family crises arise, illness occasionally strikes. My kids need me, my husband needs me, my 92-year old mother needs me, my house needs me, the yard needs me. The desire to be everywhere I want to be AND to sustain “consistency” can overwhelm. Consistency on any front seems an unattainable state. The pressure becomes almost paralyzing.

“If I can’t be consistent,” I reason, “what’s the point in doing it at all? I guess I’ll just wait for the time to be right.”

But we haven’t made it to our 40s or 50s or 60s without learning that the time is NEVER right. There will always be people and events vying for our time and energy. So, then, what? How am I going to achieve these many things I have yet to accomplish?

About a year ago, at a conference, a speaker said these words: “Consistency is NOT constancy.”

It hit me like a bolt of lightning. I wrote it down on the napkin in front of me, not realizing that I was so struck that I would never forget it regardless. I realized at that moment, that I was trying to be constant—be all the things all the time. The speaker elaborated that consistency for me isn’t going to be the same as the person next to me. My consistency at this time may look different from two years from now. Consistency is a relative term.

To grasp this, you must look at consistency from the perspective of where YOU are and what YOU can physically accomplish. It has nothing to with what “they” say, or what your partner is doing, or what your competitor is doing. You can view consistency from a daily, weekly, monthly, or even annual lens.

• If you’re trying to show up on social media, maybe consistency for you is daily or maybe it’s weekly.

• If you’re an entrepreneur, maybe consistency is working on your business for an hour every day. Or maybe it’s 2 days a week.

• If you’re trying to lose weight, maybe you stick to a program for 30 days and take a break. Or maybe you stick to a program five or six days a week.

Will you get there slower? Of course. On second thought, scratch that! The real answer is not necessarily, because if you quit out of frustration then you might never get there at all.

I’m reminded by the tortoise and the hare. In my haste to reach the finish line as fast as possible, I was actually creeping to a halt. Frustrations rise. Motivation decreases. Creativity fades. Productivity slows.

This explanation was a revelation to me. Reminding myself (as often as necessary) that consistency is NOT constancy allows me to give myself much-needed and much-deserved grace. With the self-induced and, really, needless stress relieved, I move from paralysis to productivity. From negativity to positivity. From stress to creativity.

In this next season of life, we women over 40 still have much we can do and achieve. Give yourself grace to find the consistency zone that keeps you jogging steadily forward and not doubled over on the side of the road.