More than a mom: my over 50 style reawakening

Something interesting happened to my style when I crossed the 50-year mark.

In my 30s and 40s, my style was pretty “conforming.” It reflected my suburban mom lifestyle. I enjoyed cropped trousers, colored cotton pants, twinsets, etc. and felt confident at the time.

It’s not to say I didn’t have standards. Sweatshirts and t-shirts were "around the house" attire. I would never wear leggings on an airplane, nor jeans to church. I’d much rather be overdressed for a situation than under. I would sometimes show up to a neighborhood gathering and get comments like, “you’re so dressed up” or “we said casual.” To which I would respond, “this IS casual.”

Even in high school, as others were wearing boat shoes or Keds, I could often be found wearing heels to school. And when I left Dallas to go to the University of Texas, I was appalled that the girls wore t-shirts and tennis shoes to class. In my early 20s, I started working for a boutique consulting firm where we all traveled a lot. When the chairman tried to institute a rule that no one wear jeans on an airplane, everyone thought he was a tyrant, but I had always “dressed” for travel, so I totally got it.

Where did this inner dress code originate? We were not wealthy. I was raised by a single mom who waited tables until I was in middle school. Possibly, this is precisely how it developed. My mom had always had to sew her own clothes sewed mine, too, when I was a little girl. And then there’s Barbie. My mom would take the leftover scraps of fabric from her fashions and make my Barbie the latest 70’s suits. Two women recently have told me they could trace their passion back to Barbie.

My mom taught me to sew from a very early age. It started with pillows and simple things, and I sewed my first dress with coordinating wrap at the age of 10. When I was 14, my dad came across some closeout sale somewhere and shipped me 40 yards of white silk. To make use of much of it, I found the most difficult Vogue designer pattern and made the 3-piece ensemble pictured.

As a ballet dancer, I was thrust into a world very different from mine. My best friend went to the exclusive all-girls private school, and got her “hardship” license so she could help her mother drive her siblings in her Mercedes. The dad an orthaepedic surgeon, and mom chaired balls and things. My BFF wore a uniform, of course and, when she wasn’t, she was clad in the latest Norma Kamali. As a kid from “the other side of the tracks” I admired her family’s sense of style and sophistication.

My creative personality historically was also drawn to bold and unique attire. I might wear a preppy wool skirt, sweater, and penny loafers to school, but the plaid was in bright TEAL. The next day, I would rock it out with 80’s punk-inspired black balloon pants, gold leather belt, and heels.

By the time I was a mom, my wardrobe had become decidedly more conservative than my personality. Even my evening gowns, as I look back, seem more “mother of the bride” than “sexy 35-year old.”

So how did I become timid and conservative with my choices over time? My Brooks Brothers lawyer husband definitely had an influence. But I also think that many of us, especially suburban moms, tend to just blend in. I think there is something about motherhood, carpool, class parties, and football practice that can suck the sex appeal right out of us.

In my 50s, I realized “we’re not dead yet!” I'm more than just Emma, Carsten, and Regan's mom. I’m still sexy. I’m still me. And I'm more confident than I've ever been. Suddenly the colored khakis and twinsets just didn’t feel like ME.

I was drawn to bold colors, leather, ruffles, cutouts, etc. For a recent wedding I designed and sewed a bold silk gown with cutouts, ruffles, and thigh-high split! Even my running leggings now have ruffles or laces, thanks to finding Urban Savage Active.

This reinvention even showed up in my spirit wear for my son’s football games. I searched the web for the perfect over-the-top ensemble, and settled on gold jeans and a green faux fur jacket.

My budget doesn’t allow me to revamp my entire closet, but I’m enjoying giving vintage items new life. Like taking that brightly green, blue, and gold silk blouse from my working girl days and pairing it with faux leather paper bag shorts. In Paris, I stole the bright green jacket from the same suit and paired it with a hot pink shell from another suit and ripped jeans. The vintage powder blue leather jacket got some edge from fitted black pants, a We’re Not Dead Yet Graphic T, and black combat boots.

I’m drawing inspiration from a lot of influencers I’ve discovered since becoming an over-50 advocate on Instagram. I look forward to highlighting some of them in future blogs.